Devalued & Discarded Right On Time
by Eric Casaccio
As mentioned in the artwork above, Things don’t always happen the way we want them to, but they always happen right on time. A very wise statement from a friend’s late grandmother … a statement leading to a gigantic A-HA moment during emotional turmoil after involvement with a toxic personality.
The universe may have brought you to this article because you may have experienced the excruciating devalue and discard phase from a narcissist, sociopath, or even borderline personality. Yes, these painful experiences are like never-ending loop-to-loop roller coaster jaunts twisting backward, frontward, long-ways, sideways and any single way possible. By the time the ride is finally over, feelings of depression, sadness, sleeplessness, restlessness, and wonder can spiral and consume our every thought; the thought of whether we were ever cared for or loved at all.
We may get caught up in the typical Hollywood cinematic love story and wonder if our “true love” will reappear with a realization of their mistakes cutting to those romantic scenes of happily ever after. Yes, this can happen with wholesome appropriate love connections, but when it comes to toxic bonds, these reuniting plotlines are most likely everything but healthy. In fact, your personal screenplay structure may be calling you to go within and ask yourself the following questions:
- If someone doesn’t authentically love himself or herself (i.e., toxic personality), how can they healthily love anyone else?
- If it didn’t work the first, second, or even third time, could that be a sign that it could never work at all?
- Has the universe been trying to tell you something about this relationship all along that you have been avoiding or making excuses for because you just want to love and be loved?
- If you could re-edit your personal movie, rewrite your own story, or change your plotline, how would you do that?
- What do you think the timing of your toxic situation means to you? Can you find ways to see this devalue and discard as a blessing in disguise? If so, what have you learned from all this?
- How can you consider your own devalue and discard as something that happened “right on time?” What can you do starting right now to move forward in time for yourself?
The truth is, whether the person you cared for was good to you or not, you had an authentic love for them, and that alone is outstanding! As horrible as your situation may have been, there is something to celebrate here; the celebration of the ability to fully love someone.
Again, it certainly may have been the wrong person, but you still loved! You gave love! You showed love! You were love! You even did love and when you’re ready can do it again with someone who is capable of loving you the way you love another. That’s something to cherish and never lose sight of. Something to embrace. Something to be proud of. Something that is indeed out of this world. Now bring the love back into yourself first because your self-love is the greatest love of all!
Years ago, the following entry below was written after a horrific working situation. May it uplift, inspire and remind us all that indeed things don’t always happen the way we want them to, but they always happen right on time and sometimes it’s simply time to ALLOW ourselves to move forward so we can be open for something healthy.
Live. Learn. Grow. Love. Peace!